Learning from our Mistakes
If you can learn from your mistakes, then you have already transformed the garbage into a flower, for your own joy, for the joy of your ancestors, for the joy of the future generations, and also for the joy of the person who was the victim of your ignorance and your lack of skilfulness. Very often we have done that out of our un-skilfulness, not because we wanted to harm that person, or we wanted to destroy the person, or because we wanted him or her to suffer. We were unskilful, that is all. I always like to think of our behaviour in terms of it being more or less skilful, rather than in terms of good and evil. If you are skilful, you can avoid making yourself suffer, and making the other person suffer. If there is something you want to tell the other person, then yes, you have to tell it. But there are other ways to say it that would not make the other person suffer, and yourself suffer also. So, the problem is not whether to tell or not to tell what you have in your heart, the problem is how to tell it so that suffering will not be there. That is why this is a matter of art, and of our practice also.
-Thich Nat Hanh
We all make mistakes, it doesn’t feel good, but it can be the very thing that helps us grow and to change. We don’t have to overthink things or fill our heads with stories of - he said she said. Once we acknowledge our mistake and take responsibility for them, our thought patterns change, we become more self-aware.
Mistakes can be our best Teachers and so are the people around us when we're faced with handling conflicts and difficult situations. It’s not easy to admit when we are wrong, but these are the moments to change our thinking and not to ignore them. When someone presses my buttons and I react, I open myself up to suffering. How I react in these situations is of great importance to my learning and personal growth.
It’s easier to blame the other person and to be self-righteous rather than admitting I am wrong. Sometimes it’s easier not to speak and to let the other person have their own way, but then I may suffer in silence - this can cause resentment, anger and health problems. Sometimes we just let off steam, then think about it later. We are always "wiser in hindsight", it's a good saying and another opportunity to learn from our mistakes.
When I calm down after a confrontation I can asked myself - what just happened, why am I still suffering? The answers will become clearer. Either I have made a mistake or the other person may have been reporting on their own state of consciousness and it wasn’t really about me anyway. Communication, compassion and understanding with ourselves and with the other person at these times will strengthen relationships and bring insight into your own personal growth.
The importance of managing our own behaviour and learning from our mistakes is paramount to raising our consciousness. Our twice daily meditation releases the stress in order to make space inside so that we can recognise and learn from our mistakes and deal with whatever situations that come up. When we create peace and harmony within ourselves everything flows easily, we feel happy and contented.
Until next time...
Liz
